Domestic abuse is harmful behaviour that one person uses to control or hurt someone else in a close relationship, like a partner or family member. In the UK, the government defines domestic abuse as any behaviour that is controlling, coercive (forcing or intimidating someone), violent, or threatening, between people aged 16 or older. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, no matter their gender or sexuality, and can take many forms—some more obvious than others.

Types of Abuse in Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse isn’t just physical; it can show up in other ways that may be harder to spot. Here are some of the types of abuse people may experience:

• Psychological Abuse: Manipulating, putting down, gaslighting (making someone doubt their reality), or intimidating someone.
• Physical Abuse: Physically hurting someone, such as hitting, slapping, pushing, or choking.
• Sexual Abuse: Forcing someone into sexual acts without their consent or making them feel unsafe.
• Financial Abuse: Controlling someone’s money, preventing them from working, or taking their resources.
• Emotional Abuse: Name-calling, belittling, isolating, or humiliating someone to make them feel worthless or dependent.

What is Controlling Behaviour?

Controlling behaviour is when someone tries to make another person feel dependent or isolated. It might involve:

• Cutting off social support: The abuser may try to separate their victim from friends, family, and support systems.
• Taking resources: They may take the victim’s money or possessions for their own gain.
• Limiting freedom: Abusers often limit the victim’s ability to make choices or leave, making them feel trapped.

What is Coercive Behaviour?

Coercive behavior is when someone uses threats, intimidation, or punishment to make the victim fearful or obedient. This can involve:

• Threats of harm: The abuser may threaten to hurt the victim or others they care about.
• Intimidation or humiliation: The abuser may embarrass or scare the victim, so they feel afraid or powerless.
• Other forms of pressure: Like stalking, harassment, or making the victim feel guilty for things they didn’t do.

This creates an environment of fear and control where the victim feels like they have no way out.

Honour-Based Violence

Honour-Based Violence (HBV) is when someone harms another person to “protect” or defend the family’s “honour.” Although this type of violence can happen in any community, it’s sometimes connected to certain cultural beliefs. Examples of honour-based violence include:

• Forced Marriage: Making someone marry against their will.
• Female Genital Mutilation (FGM): Cutting or altering female genitalia without medical reason.
• Physical or emotional punishment: To enforce family “honour.”

HBV can have a severe impact on someone’s mental and physical health, leaving them isolated from the support they need.

Recognising Domestic Abuse and Getting Support

Domestic abuse can be difficult to recognise, especially if it’s not physical. If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these behaviours, it may be a sign of abuse. Here’s what to do:

• Reach Out: Talk to someone you trust or connect with a local support service.
• Learn More: Knowing about different types of abuse can help you see through controlling tactics.
• Use Available Resources: There are many organisations in the UK that offer safe shelters, legal advice, counselling, and emergency help for those facing abuse.

Domestic abuse is never acceptable. By understanding it better, we can help support those affected and work toward a future where everyone can live safely, without fear or control.